A Little Politics

I have a friend who has considered running for a political position, but he is worried some of his "secrets" from the past will be raised and he'd rather not have them see the light of day.  Personally, I think he would be great for the job, and having known him since our school days, his past should be his past and left alone.

Of course, if he had been part of some subversive group back in his college years, I'd question that, but, then again, that was forty years ago and if he hasn't been "actively" involved with that group during the last forty years, I'm pretty sure he's clean.

Did he smoke pot?  Take drugs?  I don't know and I don't really care.  Is he or has he been taking them in the last 10 weeks? 10 days? 10 minutes?  Even 10 seconds ago? Now, that would be my question.

What I think is his basic problem is a little unknown secret of exploration during the sixties. [I know he hasn't smoked pot or been involved with a subversive group, so I'm guessing at this.] Everyone slept around.  So what if you woke up in a stranger's bed and the person happen to be a hooker or, even as a worst case scenario, the same sex as you.  You're not sleeping around now and have been true to your wife for the last almost fifty years.

For some strange reason we, Joe Public, feel a person in politics should be squeaky clean. We place them on a pedestal, and they should shine. Even my pastor confided to me, he is a man, not a saint, and if pushed, he can get angry and cuss with the best of them. He asks forgiveness, but, as he said, he is a man. But, I digress. Should our politicians be squeaky clean?

NO!

No one man could ... not even Jesus could stand up to that type of scrutiny. Think about it. Jesus had "hoes" and men of questionable reputations, such as a tax collector, as his buddies and sidekicks. Today, over 2.2 billion people claim this same man, Jesus, as their Savior. Nobody would have voted him "Man to Succeed" back then!

So, the bottom line is simple.  Can the person do the job?  Is the fact that he took a "toke" on a joint back in 1968 or woke up with another guy who claims it was one of the best nights or paid $20 for a quickie at some dive while attending college - is that critical to his position?

Now, if this person has been in a political position and has been pocketing money from special interest groups for votes and/or taking drugs and/or sleeping around - yeah, time to evaluate your choice. If the person is already a political figure, I expect them to represent ME and put forth their best effort to be a figure to look up to.

My buddy seems to me to be a good choice from what I know of him.

At the present time, as I see it, most of Congress should consider themselves eligible for deployment elsewhere.  Being a Senator or House Rep is a position of honor, it is NOT a career opportunity.  Too many of them are there, and been there, for way too long.

I would love to see a bill passed that had the following articles of conditions for members of Congress:

1. Service not to exceed 2 terms, once filled, cannot serve again
2. Salary will be voted by the public, and only the public - you are a servant of the public
3. Must have served a minimum of 2 years military, this applies to both male and female
4. If a bill is passed applying to the public, it applies also to Congress - you are not exempt
5. Money will be set aside, just like the rest of the public, for your retirement - it will NOT be your salary amount - your current salary and retirement fund is our (the public's) taxes.
6. Any monies discovered taken from special interest groups (lobbyists) will result in swift termination. This is direct or indirect funding by a lobbyist.
7. Any involvement in sex or drugs brought to attention will be handled swiftly - resignation.
8. The rest of the world is awake at their jobs, therefore no sleeping in session.

I was a little leery about the "sex and drugs" but I figure, if you're in Congress or any political office, you can keep your zipper up and your nose clean for those few years.  If it happened before and/or after their term of service - I don't care. Of course, if a political member is questioned about monies taken, sex, or drugs, I still see justice being served with a proper hearing.  BUT, the idea of spending $50+ million dollars "in discovery" is ridiculous. A reasonable hearing is all that is needed, not a slack-stick Hollywood production.

Also, all these so-called "junkets" to foreign countries or elsewhere to validate some obscure aspect is a waste of our money. Does the First Lady really need to shop in Paris? Or does the town mayor really need to spend five days at a convention where the rooms cost $275 or more per day? Or have an alcohol tab of an excessive amount? If the political person wants to drink, pay for it yourself! I have to, why not you?

What people seem to forget is one simple fact: Any money the government spends is YOUR money paid in taxes.  The U. S. government, state government, county government, even city government, is not a company making money - they aren't selling anything... well, they sell us a lot of BS, but that's another story. Any money they have is OUR money we've paid in taxes. There is not a PROFIT margin like a corporation or company.

Back to the problem at hand - If a person wants to run for a political office, it should be about that person's ability to handle the position and if there are certain "terms" of that position, the person should be able to meet them or not run.  What I am saying, if you need to be 35 and a U.S. citizen, show them your birth certificate.  The fact that you got arrested for stealing a watch from WalMart when you were 19 years old has nothing to do with your ability, at age 55, to be a County Commissioner or Senator.

Some skeletons should be left in the closet - that's why they're there!!

So what are your thoughts?  Am I wrong?

Until next I ramble on...

What Have I Been Up To?

Most of the time I am fighting my weight or blood sugar. I mean, that is a daily battle, and really... Do you want to hear about it? If so, here's a little update. Finally, I think I have my insulin intake under control - for the most part. I mean, I still have minor bouts of high numbers, especially when I go off diet and binge at the Chinese "all-you-can-eat" buffets. Give me a break. Sushi? Fried fish? Fried shrimp? Fried... well, whatever? And rice? Of course my numbers are going to be out of bounds. DOH!!! Also, I've learned, if I turn just right, I can jolt my back out of place and that insipid continuous pain can sky-rocket my blood sugar, too. So, I deal with it, and on most day, I'm good.

Weight? I didn't gain this spacious 100 pounds overnight; I'm not going to lose it overnight. The faster it comes off, the faster it comes back and usually brings extra luggage and friends. I'm losing at a slow pace, a hair over three pounds over a three month period. That would mean, one pound per month. Maybe I "could" step it up a little, but, well, read the previous paragraph. Buffets? Doh?! If it ain't deep fried, it is coated in a heavy sugary syrup. Hence, when at home, I eat a lot of less carb meals, cutting corners on the carb count as I can. Sandwiches are now basically a wrap, but with lavash bread which is only 4 carbs for 1/4 section of bread which is more than enough to wrap a sandwich. Sure beats 20+ for a slice of bread.

So much for all that same-o, same-o crap about my diet, weight, and blood sugar. Big whoop! I'm controlling it for the most part. I'm happy.

So... What have I been doing? We decided to revamp the front porch. Okay, in full honesty, we decided to revamp the whole appearance around the house. First step was getting some of the weeds under control and to do that, we decided to get rid of some flower beds. We didn't get rid of flowers, just the beds. Flowers now reside in pots and they're doing real fine and I've discovered, so much easier to weed. As I wander around the yard, checking the posies, if I see a stray weed growing in the pot - well, out it comes!!

The garden was six feet by fifteen feet. Slightly raised. To be honest, barely eight inches off the ground. It did help keep the weeds somewhat controlled, but leaning down to get to them. Uh, that was a stretch.

A new raised bed this spring. Smaller. It is - inside dimensions - four feet by nine something feet. Note I said inside dimensions. I used concrete blocks, two blocks high. So the garden is now sixteen inches from the ground and quite reachable. Weeds? Yeah, a few at the start which I was able to remove in less than ten minutes. Now, that's what I call easy gardening. This image is when I first started to put it in. Uh, two trips to Menards to lug them back in the rear of a 2014 Ford Focus, 700+ pounds, just in blocks, each load. LOL.

Almost finished. Just a little more dirt. I've put in some dirt, some sand, and lots and lots of chicken crap. I cleaned out the chicken coop and well, what better place to put all that fertilizer? I let it sit for almost a month, watering it so it wouldn't be too strong.

And, now? Here's what it looks like today.

I have two struggling bell peppers on the extreme right with some nice looking bells. There are 2 rows of green beans and one row of wax beans. My "salad" lettuce is on the left. It is a mixture of different leaf lettuces. And, across the back, I have five (5) tomato plants. Starting from the left, it is a cherry tomato (in case you didn't notice, it is HUGE) for salads and munching, a Beef Steak for sandwiches, a New Jersey Devil which is a strange Roma-type for pastes and salsa, a Pink which will add a lighter color to the mix, and finally, on the far right, a Mortgage Maker which is a heavy bearer and great for sauces. Yeah, a lot of tomatoes going into pint and quart jars this season until the first winter frost kills them. Of course, I'll probably sneak out and grab a couple of green maters to fry up. Love them. Oh, and before I forget, I am proud to say, everything in the garden but the lettuce was grown by me from seed.

I've also been working on the front porch and side deck. Let's go with the front porch. It is "almost" done. I just need to get the LED post cap lights for the four small posts, and I also need to string rope between the posts. Since the porch is only two feet from the ground on the sides, and a couple of inches from the front flower beds, I don't need to have any railing. We love the look without. BUT, we discovered, a strong wind moves the furniture across the porch and well, in the past, the railings kept things contained to the front porch and not flipping all over the yard. Hence, we are placing a decorative rope around to at least keep the furniture on the porch during a storm. Here's the porch, as built in 2006 when the house was going up. The only thing missing is the slapped-up white roof with no trim.

This is what it looks like today, minus the cap post LED lights and ropes ... which are coming soon.

And, now, some close ups. They are: front porch left side, front porch right side, my fancy corner emblem so I didn't have to miter the corners when putting up the trim, and the newly painted furniture.

Now, a little about the furniture. Originally, the love seat was the same insipid "tan" color as the table next to it. The Adirondack chair was a lovely shade of dark army green. The other chairs were also a shade of dark moss green. I painted them all a dark blue. We put new blue and white cushions on the old rockers. And, in the near future, I will paint the tables white. Also, I plan to paint all the shutters on the house to match our new color scheme. Yup! It will be that dark blue.

I'm currently working on the side deck. It is a mere eight (8) to ten (10) feet above the ground on the east end of the house. I had some of that crappy plastic trellis screwed to some of the uprights. Not really all that safe. I have since put up welded fencing and will be covering it with wood strips. When I finish that project, I'll post. Hopefully, by then, I'll also have the rest of the front porch, and shutters completed. One neighbor asked if I was getting the house ready to sell. I informed him I was changing a lot of things around the house to make it easier for me, a seventy-two year old fart, to keep things up-to-date. I will be enlarging the "hillside" flower bed this fall. My son bought a new place and my DIL doesn't want to fiddle with all the myriad of flowers. Guess who is going to inherit them? And, in the manner of keeping it easier for me, I'll add a simple path through the new bed to make weeding easier when in the flower bed.

A Gardening Lesson

Here's a gardening tidbit. When is the best time to weed? Well, of course, when the weed first emerges from the ground and has very little root... but, well, we don't tend to catch them until they are larger than the flowers. LOL. So, now to answer the question. After it has rained. If you get a heavy deluge, or really good dousing of water that seeps deep into the ground. The next day... or later that day, grab your bucket and whatever weeding tools you use and get out there. PULL... yes, PULL those weeds out. If the ground is really wet, they will literally slip out, maybe even with all the hairy little roots still attached. I did that for a mulch area, pulling dandelions, Queen Anne's lace, thistle, creeping Jenny and all sorts of other weeds out - tap root and all the little roots, too. If you get the root out, they don't tend to grow back. LOL. I've got a little weeding to do and it has threatened to rain for the last couple of days. Even the weatherman believes it will rain. It hasn't. Each day it doesn't rain and I don't pull the weeds, they get stronger root systems and bigger. If it don't rain tonight, I will get the sprinkler out and let it run for about an hour in the morning, then again for about thirty minutes in the afternoon. Then, in the evening shade and cool, I'll sit on my little bench and pull those weeds out. BTW, if you know my luck, it will pour that night after I've watered so well.

Until next I ramble on...

Trying Something New

I've been writing this blog for several years, always trying to "capture" an essence of what I wanted to say, but always failing in the completion.  Okay, not a total failure, but I've always felt my blogs were somewhat lackluster. Yes, occasionally I would have one that stood out, glistening in the sunlight, but more often than not, most of the posts were either drab, boring updates or some rant. Again, maybe more rants than updates.

Today I want to try something different. In addition to my usual mundane update and/or rant, I want to add personal items about me.

Why, you ask? Because I want you to know me, the guy who puts this all together. Sure, everyone knows I write and I cook and I have a wife, kids and grandkids. But... do you really know me?

First, my updates. I've been busy the last few weeks doing edits for my writing clients. I really enjoy doing them because I get to be on the cutting edge of what is new coming out. Plus, I feel I am giving back to the writing community, teaching others how to improve their skills as writers.

If all goes well, once more I'll be teaching a class at Terra State Community College in Fremont, OH. This one will be a shorter class, about three weeks. It is about using dialog for characterization. I'm hoping the students find it useful and helpful.

My garden is coming to harvest.  I have nine (9) tomato plants with a couple of plants of several different varieties. I tried something different this year rather than the same old types as I have grown in the past.  The most unusual one was the Jersey Devil, a 'Roma-type' tomato. Here's a picture of them growing and another with my hand around one still growing to ripeness.

Notice their length? And inside is basically all meat with just a few seeds.  Great for salsa, stewed tomatoes and purees.

This is my wife's first batch of salsa for 2017. There wasn't quite enough to make 8 pints so Yours Truly got to do a little QC that night.  And I wiped out what was left of the tortilla chips.  My wife went to the store and bought two big bags so I won't run out. She has since canned 6 qts of stewed tomatoes, another 11 pts of salsa and 8 pts of tomato juice. She looked at the garden and made the following comment. "[heavy sigh] And this is only the start of the season."

I should mention she also canned 9 qts of dill pickles, 8 pts of banana peppers and I have a couple heads of cabbage - to which I will make a lot of egg rolls for the freezer. There is a bevy of green peppers and I'll be making my infamous freezer green pepper casseroles for the winter.

In addition to all this canning, we're also camping. I finally got the RV toilet repaired. It became a fiasco with always something to stymie me as I attempted the project. Let's just say, after several months (this started the fall of 2016) we were finally able to go camping, and camping we did. Almost a month of camping. A week with friends, a week alone, a week with granddaughters and another week alone. Sure, it was only for a few days each week... being honest, the first week was five nights, the week alone was four nights, the one with the granddaughters was three nights since we had other activities planned and the last week was another four nighter.  We prefer to camp during the week to avoid the weekend chaos and cramped camping.  With school just around the corner, camping is going to be mostly seniors until the nights get too cold. Me? I enjoy those brisk nights, sitting around the campfire, enjoying the fall in all its glorious colors. Having been involved with Scouting since I was 10 yrs old, I have no issue camping when the snow flies and have done it several times - in a tent, no less!

Oh, before I forget. I actually got back to writing my own stuff again. Last night I was able to put just a hair over 1000 words to my followup Amish novel - The New York Voice.  It will still need some heavy-handed editing, but I'm thrilled to be writing, again.

Now, for the new stuff.  Here goes...

My favorite color ever since I was a little kid, let's say at least a half century ago... plus a tad more, was red. I love red. But, I've matured a lot since I was a grade school kid and my colors have changed. Not really. I still love red but it is so brash. I've learned I also love green, especially the deep forest greens. And I enjoy a good shade of blue. My wife has taught me to embrace shades of purple, more so the violet shades she enjoys.

One of my granddaughters wanted to make me something special for my birthday and asked my favorite color. I tried to explain my hesitancy to blurt out the color red, instead telling her I liked all the colors of the rainbow.  She made me key chain fob. It was very colorful with red being the main color, but she did a great job blending in all the other colors and not make it look like a rainbow but have almost every color of the rainbow in it.

As with my choice in colors, my music choices are even more eclectic. One cannot point at me and say 'There goes a rock and roll man' or 'He's really into classical music.' Me? I roll with the waves of the ocean and my music is about as varied as the waves of the seas. To get you started, here's one of my favorite music groups, Brulé performing 'Spirit Horses.'

No, I am not Native American, but, even as a young lad playing "Cowboy and Indians" - yes, I'm THAT old - my younger brother always had to be the cowboy with the guns which left me the Indian. As I got older I was drawn to the American Indian mystique and enjoyed doing beading and recreating Indian headdresses. I even learned, at the "ripe" age of 15 some words of the Indians who lived in the NW Ohio area - the Delaware aka the Lenni Lenape or just plain, Lenape. 

Anyway, to give you a little more insight to me, here's another piece of music I enjoy.

Now, so you totally understand what I mean by the words "I enjoy" or "love" this music. I have these songs on my computer and have had them on my computer for decades for some of them. I listen to them repeatedly - and I do mean repeatedly. I may play a song over and over - as many as a dozen or more times - before moving on to the next song. Some of my music has transferred across as many as ten different computers and laptops over time. Probably more. I kept my music list on all - and I mean ALL - my computers... even at work. My play list is now about four (4) hours long and I keep adding to it as new songs come along or I find a digital copy of an old song I just have to have.

If you have a favorite piece of music, share it with me. Maybe we'll find a common ground.

In future blogs we'll discuss my favorite foods, share some recipes, more music, what I enjoy reading and whatever I feel is necessary for you to know me, Bob Nailor - the guy, the husband, the father, the grandfather and great-grandfather, the writer, the traveler, the gardener, and more.

Until next I ramble on...

So Tired Of It...

Who really cares?  I mean, are there people out there who need to know this information and, if they don't, their lives are incomplete?

That's right, I'm about to rant.

Do I really need to know all about Brooke Shield's wrinkle erase cream?

Do I really need to discover Megyn Kelley's little off-show OR on-show secrets?

Do I even need to know what pill Mark Cuban is taking? Or why? OMG!

OR why one of the Kardashians is having a rough go of it? I know, life is so mean to millionaires.

Everyone is screaming their Internet is slow, it takes too long to load this video or that video. Really? You're going to watch a video about what pill Mark Cuban is taking so you can order it? If you want the pill, does it really matter if Mark Cuban is taking it? Does his decision decide yours?

If we could get rid of all the stupid SPAM - not the canned meat type - that is cluttering our networks, just think how much faster the Internet would be.

I'm a 70+ married white male with four children, ten grandchildren and currently, five great-grandchildren.

The last thing I need in my inbox is...

1. A secret date with some cougar. I'm not looking for a 80 to 90 year old woman.
2. A secret date with somebody's wife.  I have my wife, why do I want somebody else's?
3. A prestigious position within the Business Women's Society or some such crap. I'm a guy!
4. Seeing naked photos of supposed "nearby" women who need to be satisfied.
5. To save $1500 on a walk-in tub. If I'm saving $1500, the tub is too expensive.
6. Be involved with a Zuckerberg venture and/or Facebook.
7. Discover ways to enhance my manhood. At this point in my life... does it matter?
8. Anything about Gwen Stephani and/or Blake Shelton. What they do is their business.
9. Any of the new diet pills and/or weight-loss fads. I'm fat; I'm happy - so leave me alone.
10. I don't need medicinal anything - drugs or pills. I'm 70+, I've learned to cope so far without it.
11. A total stranger's hoo-ha. Imagine my shock with the email that read "You Want This?" and when the email came up, it was a close-up shot of some woman's vagina. One of my grandchildren could have went to my computer and seen that since I leave me computer on 24/7 and usually have my email up, running during that time.
12. An opportunity to send somebody $5k so I can get $150 million to assist in a transaction from Africa (or Europe, South America, Far East) of an extremely wealthy spouse of a slain official.
13. And the list goes on and on.

Just think, if just the above type emails didn't clog the Internet, we could all probably run on a 56K modem - no, not really. I'm kidding. BUT, we'd all see things happen a lot faster.

WHY?

ISP (that's your Internet Service Provider) wouldn't need to attempt to go through all the email coming to your email box and attempt to eliminate as much as possible before sending it on through to you.  I know, I have my own domain and establish SPAM rules to eliminate a lot of email for my domain(s) I handle. You won't believe all the stuff that still manages to get through.

Spammers are smart.  They use things like "Bootilicious," Booty Licious," "Bootie Licious," Booty-Licious," Bootie.Licious," and the list goes on and on with variations.  Oh, and they also attempt this method "BoOtY LiCiOuS."  And, yes, variations on it, too.

As it has been stated in the past, it is difficult to make something totally idiot proof because idiots are so ingenious.

I remember the good ol' days (he sighs) when I could be on the phone and send an email to the person on the other end and almost instantly they'd say "Got it!"  Now, with all the way-stations and spam filters in place, it can take upwards of twenty minutes to get that same email.  The sending ISP will check the mail for viruses and attempt to ascertain that it is not spam, and depending on the route taken, a couple of other places will also test the email for viruses and spam.

The sad part, if you put into your email, say to a client or customer, the following sentence:

Yes, I said it was FREE!

That sentence alone could flag it as spam. You capitalized the word "free" which for some spam filters, is a flag to be counted.  If your email letter gets too many flags, it is considered spam and goes into the spam box and the world may never see it.

The truly sad aspect of spam - real mail may get stopped and tossed away while the crappy spam email comes through, totally unscathed.

Some spam filters look at the content size and if the flags count up... but the text size is large, it is allowed through.  Hence the emails of spam now filled with useless garbled blurbage at the end. It gets the text count up to offset the flag count. As I said, idiots are so ingenious.

What can be done? Really - nothing.  Like my friend who despises the canned meat known as SPAM, even if you ignore it, it still remains on the store shelves, indicating that somebody somewhere is buying it.

I guess the same is true for all the other spam - out there in the great web of cyberspace, somebody is clicking on the link to discover the "truth" about Brooke Shield's wrinkle cream... or wanting to enhance the size of his manhood.

We all have our dreams... I dream of an Internet without spam.

Until next I ramble on...

False Hope

Just returned from an author's event.  You know the type - somebody organizes the event by getting a bunch of author's together to hawk their book(s) and allows them to meet/greet the public. It's just like a book signing, except in a larger scale.

There is a lot of work getting prepared for one of these. It isn't just a matter of slapping the book on the table, sitting back and raking in the do-re-mi as buyer after buyer throws cash in your face.

Okay, I do stand corrected. There was one gentleman who came to the affair, had a whole table to himself - an eight-foot-long table.  He had ONE book title, three copies spread out in a small arc in the middle of the table.  He sat back in his chair, feet up on the table, and rested for the remainder of the event. At the end, he picked up his 3 books, put them in a satchel and left. Done.

Others, like me, put up a display with books tastefully displayed, colorful announcements, handy business cards, and 'gimmicks' to draw the attendees to the table.  I normally use candy but am thinking of something else... maybe I'll discuss that further on.

Here's a picture of one of my events just a few weeks ago at the Findlay Author's Fair.

You can't see them, but there are about 100 small LED lights under the white cloth.  I used battery operated ones, not knowing if there would be an electrical outlet handy.  Do you see the white-on-white conduit against the wall?  Yes, I would have been the only one with electricity in the room.  Since then, I take along the electric LED lights that can change to any color of my choice, and/or rotate colors and/or flash, too.  No electricity most of the time, but they don't weigh that much.

As stated, the Findlay event was almost a month ago and there have been two other events since. 

The attendees come through, browse the books, talk and talk and really seem intrigued and very interested in the books.  You'd be amazed how many "gush" about how they just love a good Amish story to read.  Uh, but no purchases.  No, but they do ask if it is available online. They want to purchase the electronic version.

Of course, it is online!  Well, DOH!!  No, I don't say it that way to their faces but smile and give them the link(s) to the book(s) for them to check out at a later date.

Okay, not a book purchase at the show, but a potential purchase via Amazon or elsewhere online. It doesn't matter, it's called royalty and it all counts.  I'll take electronic purchases.

I keep checking my online stats for my books - both those I published and those of my publishers. I'm a hybrid author, having some books via several different publishers and some books I have self-published on Kindle/Create Space and at Smashwords.

Need I say?  Yes, the numbers continue to plummet into the abyss.  No online purchases.

Ah-ha!!  Call it the lightbulb going on above my head... OR getting hit by lightning.

It is a ruse by the potential customer.  By stating they want it online, they're not caught in the dilemma of telling me no to my face.  They can give me false hope of a sale and continue on their merry way without feeling terrible.  Maybe they will buy a copy online, but more likely, they won't.

I'm open to suggestions of how to get an event attendee to commit to a purchase.  I've offered beautiful metal bookmarks,  I even had some crocheted bookmarks.  I've offered buy one, get another one at half price. And, I attempted to lure them with candy. Oh, yeah, and I smile a lot.

About the candy.  Someone suggested gum cigars, similar to those the proud dads buy at the birth of a new baby.  They can be purchased, specialized with events or other words to denote, let's say, a book.  Of course, one could buy specially marked M & M candies.  

What else could be given away?  My friend offered a free book drawing. She would give away a copy of her latest book to one of the attendees.  She got four people to sign up.  Not what would I call a real good return on the investment since she didn't sell any copies, either.

Short of knocking the attendee to the floor, ripping the purse open or pulling the wallet from the hip pocket and digging out the money for the book ... any suggestions to help with sales?

My Amazon ratings continue to plummet.

False hope sucks.

Until next I ramble on...

Just A Rant

Ugh!

This week has been one of desperation and exasperation. I went out, an innocent lamb to the slaughter.  Okay, let me tell you tales of horror. LOL.

I went up near the Detroit area last week to visit my youngest son and his wife to babysit their twins so they could attend a dance banquet for the eldest daughter - a six-year-old

It is summer time and of course, every road is under construction - for miles! I can take the south route (low road) or the north route (high road) but... wait.  They are both under construction at about the same area so the idea of taking one to avoid the other is a moot point.  Oh, wait, I could slip around the whole mess by taking a road headed north before I got the construction.

Silly me.  That road was under construction, too.  Well, I was committed to this road when I discovered the construction. Therefore, a quick dido might be the best answer. Wrong again. A left turn here, a right turn there, a couple of each and finally I was in an area I recognized. A little further and I was able to eliminate another construction area and I was clear of the big city and headed on to my destination.

Wait.  This road was taking me back away so I had to cut across the countryside to catch another highway to get me up to Detroit.  No problem. (So he thought.)  Speeding down the backroad and I see the flashing lights.  No, not the police.  In front of me is a tractor on the country road. It was chugging along at a snail's pace and there was NO way to get around it.  Did the young driver think to look in his rear-view mirror for traffic?  Nope!  He was getting down in the cab with his headphones on so the loud tractor with the immensely wide row of plows didn't bother him. No on-coming traffic and I couldn't pass him - the plow went from side of road to side of road. He really should have had them tipped up, but...

THREE agonizing miles at the breakneck speed of almost 10mph, he finally turned off into a field.

We finally got to my son's house before they had to leave.  We allowed almost 3 hours to make a 90-minute drive.  It took over 2 hours.  Therefore, visiting with them before they left was a lost cause. They assumed the banquet would be over early and they'd be home by 8pm, 9pm for sure.  They didn't get home until almost 10pm.  For us, no biggie since the twins, 14 months old, decided to call it an early evening and went to sleep without too much effort on our behalf.

We headed home the next day after an enjoyable visit.  We had a 1pm meeting and again, we allowed ourselves 3 hours to travel the distance.

About 40 miles from home, I thought we had it 'in the bag' ... we'd arrive almost 30 minutes before the meeting - but I was wrong.  I turned onto a connecting highway between the "high" road and "low" road.

Are you ready?  More flashing light.  Still, not the police.  Seems they decided to 'sweep' the highway and the big rig was moving along at ... okay, it was so slow we were passed by a kid on a bicycle as he cycled leisurely down the road licking a popsicle.  Actually, we were going so slow I was on idle - my foot was on the brake, not the gas, and I had to keep applying the brakes because I was moving too fast.  YUP!  It was THAT slow.  There was a county or state truck behind the sweeper with its caution lights flashing.  Behind that (and in front of me) was another truck who, for some reason, felt it unnecessary to pass.  The road is 3 lanes.  The lane going north, the lane going south, and a turn lane between them. For the one-mile strip, there is absolutely NO place to turn left or right from the highway.  Why is there a turn lane?  I have no idea, but it was there. But I figure, at about 1mph, no faster than 3mph, I had the right to pass.

Exasperated, I finally gunned my motor and, using the turning lane, passed the two trucks and sweeper at an outrageous speed of 20, almost 25mph.  Was it legal?  I don't know.  I might get a ticket in the mail and, if so, I will address the issue at that time.

I was ahead of schedule, but due to the sweeper, I fell behind and we were 5 minutes late for our meeting.  Not so bad, but we'd called to let them know we were running late.  I didn't mention that I was racing through the countryside in an attempt to gain back some time. If I hadn't raced, we probably would have been about 30 minutes late.

Oh, I forgot about the one car I had before me on the country road. She would stop at the stop signs. That's a good thing. She would left, look right, inch ahead, look left, look right, look left and finally cross the intersection.  Of course, I could not pass her due to poor timing of on-coming traffic. She did this at 3 different intersections.  Even my wife wondered why she spent so much time looking left and right to ascertain traffic.  Uh, you could see left and right at these stop intersections for over a mile in each direction. There was nothing coming either way.  We only had on-coming traffic and never met one of those vehicles at any intersection.

Yes, it was a trip of tension.  The only trips I can claim to be worse is when we decide to travel through Houston, Texas.  For me, my last 4 trips through the construction there have all been white-knuckle events. We (my wife, her brother and his wife, and me) now plan our trip to Corpus Christi to avoid Houston. I'm the only one 'dumb' enough to drive through Houston. They won't even attempt it.

SO, Who Are You?

This past week I was asked an interesting question.

Who are you?  What makes you so special and sets you aside from others?

My first mental response was - I'm a writer.  I blurted it.  Yes, I said it aloud. There was no take-backs, no side-stepping my answer.

The response from my verbal attacker caught me ill prepared.  Well, whoop-de-doo! There are other writers, you're not the only one. They could have stopped at that point, but they continued. "And some of them write better than you! So, again, what makes you so special?"

Okay, I had to do some fast mental straining of the few working cells I had left. This person wasn't going to be put off so easily and/or so quickly.

I'm a husband to a wonderful wife.  You're not the only guy to wear a wedding ring, dude.

I'm a father of four sons.  There are other fathers out there, that's no big whoop!

I'm a grandfather to ten wonderful children. Again, there are other grandfathers with great children.

I'm a great-grandfather to two children plus a set of twins on the way. Yeah, big whoop! Try again.

I'm a Christian.  I'm retired.  I served my country in the Navy.  I garden.. I travel... I... I... I...

What DOES make me special? What designates me as special and not to be confused with my neighbor or friend?

Somebody said how I appear makes me unique. Unfortunately, that doesn't hold water, either.  I've met my doppelganger and it was a really weird experience.  I was in the Navy and was being waved at and spoken to by total strangers who acted like they knew me. It was a person from my barracks who started me on the path to discovery of my look-alike. He'd seen me at a bar in Fresno, CA and I ignored him. I was able to prove I wasn't at the bar - 1) I wasn't quite old enough at the time and 2) I had 3 buddies who I'd went to the theater with that night and played cards with until 1 AM.  Then this mystery person strolled into the mess hall while I was there. He was almost a year older than me and, for all practical purposes, the spitting image of me. But, I digress.  So much for looks.

After an immense amount of thought on the question, I could only come up with one answer.

It is the combination of all these things that make me the unique person I am. It is my likes and dislikes which I have the right to change as often as I desire. It is my looks, which I can change, and, of course, my heritage which I can't. It is my ancestors and my descendants. It is my accomplishments, my failures, and my dreams.

There is no one individual item that makes me unique. I can only think of one man to have lived and have one attribute to set him from others and that would be Jesus who died on the cross for our sins.

For many Christians, this week is considered a Holy Week to commemorate the final trials, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Take the time this coming Easter Sunday to attend church and celebrate his defeat of Death.  For those who aren't of the Christian persuasion - may I ask you attend the worship center of your choice and recommit yourself to your faith.

Until next I ramble on...

School Fund Raising

It is every grandparent's nightmare.  The start of school and the few months before Christmas when every school in the nation seems to take on a plethora of fund-raisers.

If your grandchild is active in school, the typical grandparents will dole out the dollars to make little Billy or Beth Ann a proud child.

How?  You dare to ask?

Simple.  I currently have only 2 granddaughters in middle school. The older four have graduated and the younger four haven't started... yet.  That's right, another four coming through the ranks and it isn't getting any cheaper.

My granddaughters are active.  They play sports.  They play band.  They belong to chorus.  Oh, and the older of the two just started high school and now is thinking of joining some clubs.

The band is selling stuff to raise money for something - aren't they always? The one sport's group is also actively hustling something to buy.  And I believe the chorus/music department is pushing something, too.

I'm diabetic.  There is only so much candy one can buy and the diabetic candy is even more expensive!  Oh, wait, they have non-sweet, not candy stuff to sell. So the diabetic can't get away.

Just what I need. Wrapping paper that costs more than the present itself.  Really?  I want to purchase three sheets of colorful "holiday" wrap that will bring joy to any child opening the present?  What?!! I spent $12 on those 3 sheets and they will "nicely" wrap 3 boxes, 15 X 3 X 10.  Huh?  So basically it will cover a standard shirt/blouse box.  I buy a nice t-shirt (on sale) for $2 and buy a box, another $.75 and then wrap it in a sheet of $4 "colorful holiday" wrap.

We live about 2 hours away from these grandchildren, so it isn't like they can "pop-over" to let grandma and grandpa check out the list.

No worries!!  You can now do it ONLINE!!

That's right.  Grandma went online and she found grandpa's favorite candy - candy corn.  She was able to get a whole pound for only - do you want to guess?  Only $12.  But wait!  There's shipping charges.  Of course, if you spend $50, shipping is free.  Uh, another word synonymous with grandparent is retired and with retired is the ever-popular limited income.

Simple enough.  Just buy $25 from each girl and get the free shipping.  No!!  Each order is individual and the $50 is per child.  So grandma paid the shipping - another $8.75.

WHAT?!!!  Almost $21.  And I am now the proud owner of a cheap, clear glass container of one whole pound of candy corn - some have been dipped in chocolate.

Be still my heart.

It was delivered today.  I'm expecting the other box to come tomorrow.

Now for the truly sad part about this whole fiasco.

We ordered and the school will get its token amount - and it better be a goodly amount - but our granddaughters will get credit for the sales but it won't reflect on the scoreboard since only after the event is over and the sales have been finalized, will the final figures be revealed.  On the day the orders need to be turned in, some secretary is going to tally up each child's order form (key word here) and the one who sold the most will get the big prize at General Assembly the next day.  So much for Internet sales. Plus, the winner is always the person with the most relatives in the area.  My granddaughters have an uncle near them.  The rest of the family live 2+ hours away.

Personally, I would rather have just taken a ten (or a twenty since that is what it all added up to) out of my pocket for each girl and given it to the school directly.  Everyone would have been ahead.  I truly don't believe the school made $10 on my $12 order.  I certainly didn't need a pound of candy and it would have eliminated a lot of stress on my wife who spent too much time agonizing over all the possible items to select just the right one - in other words, the most for the cheapest price.

Be honest now.  When presented with the order form, it is Nature's mechanism kicking in to look at the full selection and then decide which item gives you the best bang for the buck.  It's only natural. We do it with any catalog.  We will select an item on desire THEN look at the price and decide to find another that is "less expensive" and close to what we want.

Before I forget - I commend those brave parents who take these order forms into work and covertly badger co-workers to buy.  When I worked in a factory, it was quite common to see several of these order forms either thumb-tacked to the bulletin board or discreetly sprawled across a lunch table.  Don't get me started on Girl Scout cookies since that seems to be the "get in your face" marketing ploy for sales.  Who can say no to Girl Scout mint cookies.  At pushing $4 a box, I'm learning how.

But, if you look at an order form, 90% of the time, at the top you'll find grandma and grandpa.  Mom and dad aren't at the top, they are at the very end of the list to make up the difference in the pseudo competition created to reach a certain level.

From mid-September until mid/late November, let the crazy fund-raising begin.

I wonder - will a school just accept a cash donation and get rid of this ridiculous thievery? The only ones who I feel are making out like bandits are the fund raising companies.  How much of that $12 I spent will the school receive?  Think about it.  IF I were to give $10 out of my wallet, I am going to bet I am giving them more than they get with all this fund raising.

Until next I ramble on...

Small Town Movie Theater

Last week I noticed our local theater was showing a couple of movies I really, REALLY wanted to see and well, they're not the type my wife enjoys, so it would be a bachelor night out.

I was primed and excited.  A Thursday night.  I was going to go on Tuesday night but decided there really wasn't any reason since the Tuesday 2-for-1 price really wouldn't have any bearing on the matter. Plus, on Thursday night, it is BYOB - Bring Your Own Bag and let them fill it for free with popcorn.  All you pay for is the butter and extra butter, if you want it.  I've seen a group of 4 girls come in with a black trash bag and get it filled at least 1/3, if not 1/2 full.  Side note: They threw the EMPTY bag in the trash at the end of the movie!!

Anyway, Thursday night it was - a cheap night for me.  Showing was "The Martian" at cinema 1 and at cinema 3 was "The Intern."  With judicial timing, I could see "The Martian" at 5pm and step over to cinema 3 at 7:30pm to watch "The Intern."  It was going to be a perfect night.

Two movies, free popcorn.  Perfect, just perfect.

Did you note the earlier sentence... going to be?  Drove into town, found a parking spot which was easy since the whole town square seemed dead.  Walked to the movie theater, a little confused since the lights weren't on.  And for a very good reason.

They were closed.  HUH??

Seems that week they started the new policy.  Only open on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

So much for my double feature.  So much for the free popcorn.  As my one daughter-in-law constantly tells me: Sucks to be you.

I went home.  I was really down in the slumps.  I enjoyed going to the show during the week since it wasn't packed full of young kids, crying babies and others who really didn't want to see the movie so they decide to ruin for everyone else.

There was no way in Hell I would be going to the matinee at 5pm on a Friday or Saturday.  Every 15 year old in town would be filling the cheap seats.  And waiting for the 2nd showing after 7pm was just as bad with all the families and/or daters.

So, Sunday night, I figure it might be a safe play.  Everyone is getting ready to go back to work or school.  The 5pm showing could be gamey but not too bad.  The 2nd show should be okay.

Of course, the free popcorn won't happen.  No, I'll pay the senior price for a ticket, $5 for each show.  That will be a major investment of $10.  Then I'll need a big tub of butter popcorn - that should be about $4.50 plus a large diet pop, another $3.50.  I might be able to stretch the popcorn for the 2nd showing, but I'll definitely need another bladder-buster pop. Okay, let's be honest, I love popcorn. I'll have to buy more for the 2nd show.  Hm?  $16 in treats - if I don't buy any candy and only $10 to get in.

What's wrong with this picture?

Usually when I and my wife go out to the show, we call it date night.  And I'm cheap.

Some fast-food chain $1 menu - 2 burgers, 2 fries, 1 large drink = $5.00
Tuesday night 2-for-1 tickets = $5.00
Theater refreshments - 1 large tub of popcorn with extra butter and 2 large drinks = $11.50
Oh, I forgot, she has to have her Snowcaps = $3.00 (the same one you can buy for $.99 elsewhere.).

Well, it "was" a cheap night out until we hit the concession stand. LOL.

What really upsets me though is the fact that the movie theater is closed during the week.  How many remember the drive-in movies?  They were open every night, then only on weekends, and then...

I'm worried that our local theater will be closing.  It was a nice theater when I was kid - it was big with a stage that had magic shows and all sorts of wonderful entertainment, not to mention the Saturday matinees.  I joined the service, moved away and now I'm back, it has been upgraded and downsized into 3 cinemas enabling it to show all the new movies for a week before the next big flick hits the screen.

I think whoever is watching sales and marketing has lost it.  During the summer, it was open and had poor attendance.  Let's review:  It is summer.  I want to go on vacation.  I want to picnic.  I want to play baseball, tennis, go swimming or just enjoy the summer evening.  Now it is Fall.  Kids are back in school. Everyone is home.  Let's close the theater since nobody came during the summer.

Hellllooo???  Nobody was home during the summer!!  Marketing 101.  I'm not traveling as much. I'm not attending baseball games or swim meets.  I'm not picnicking.  I'm home.  In the evening, after the meal, I'd love to attend a movie for some entertainment.

Nope!!  Can't do that.  They closed.

And the scary part?  They may close forever.  Movies are going to DVD faster than ever.  Why go to the theater when it will be available in about 7 months to watch on our own Smart LED 60+ inch televisions?

So, order from Chan Ling's carryout menu, curl up on the couch and download a new movie to watch on your smart television, It's coming!!

Drive ins are dead.  Movie theaters just haven't been notified as yet, but it is coming.

Don't let it happen!!! Go to a movie.  Enjoy an evening out.  Keep your local theater open.

Until next I ramble on...

UPDATE: "The Intern" - an excellent movie which I highly recommend.  "The Martian" was a good movie with a lot of twists and turns, told in an almost diary format. Something tells me the book was lot, LOT better!!!  Oh, and they changed the schedule at the theater for Sunday's viewing. I had to wait almost an hour and a half between movies or miss about 30-40 minutes of "The Intern" beginning.  I figure I can skip up to maybe 15 minutes of the start of a movie that's at/over 2 hours long... but half an hour? Back to "The Intern." Linda Lavin (aka Alice in the TV series Alice or as most people remember, Mel's Diner) has a small but very special part. She was priceless. Anne Hathaway, Robert DeNiro and Rene Russo were great. Even Adam DeVine (famous for Bumper in the Pitch Perfect franchises) did a bang-up job. Will definitely get "The Intern" when the DVD comes out.

Some Ranting

I've noticed what I can only call 'absolute food waste' of late.

Today I stopped in at the local Chinese restaurant for some carryout (or take away OR whatever you call it when you don't eat at the restaurant - another rant later) and while I waited for my order to be cooked, I watched two young men eat from the daily buffet.  These were two well-muscled men of about 25-30 years of age, definitely laborers, not office types.

#1 pushed his partially filled plate away with a "This doesn't taste as good as I thought it would." He then walked up to the buffet, got a new plate and filled it with fried rice and the same beef mixture.

HUH?

If it didn't taste good before, what miracle would make him think a second plate would taste better? He sat down, ate about half and then placed that plate on top of the earlier one with a "Guess I'll try something else."  Once more up to the buffet and gets a sugar dusted donut ball.  Sits down, eats maybe 2 bites of it and puts it on the dish. "Too sweet." Oh, you guessed it.  Back up to the buffet and gets another one.  One bite and it is on the plate.

During this time, #2 isn't inactive.  He has been eating from his plate of several things and he, too, pushes it aside and goes up to the buffet.  On the discarded plate I can see stuffed mushrooms and white rice.  The guy opens the white rice container and piles it onto his plate, then puts what looks like the same beef mixture he had on his first plate.  Yes, he also grabs about four stuffed mushrooms.  Bites into one of the mushrooms and says "They got a funny taste." and then eats about three or four bites of the rice and beef mixture.  Yup! That plate goes onto the other partially filled plate.  Back up to the buffet for an egg roll.  One bite, the rest is put on the plate to be disposed of.

The two of them start out the door and the owner says "See you Tuesday, yes?" They both nod their heads in agreement, wave and leave.

My order is ready and I nonchalantly ask if they are regulars.  They come in every day.  The owner says they really love the food.  I pay for my order, tell him to say "ni-hau" to his wife and daughter and I leave.  I walk past the table where the two men sat and am still amazed by the amount of food they took and left on the plates.

THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME I'VE SEEN THIS IN ACTION.

I was at a casino buffet in Detroit.  Three rather plump women and one extremely large man were enjoying the meal at the buffet.  Well, I thought they were.  Each of them came back from the food service with two and three plates each, filled with almost everything available.

Okay, I do watch people but there are some people who demand you watch them. This quartet not only demanded you watch but made sure you heard them, too.

"Oh, Lori. Did you get the Italian chicken? It melts in your mouth." She licks her fingers.
"John, are those potato fritters as good as they look?"
And the conversation bantered about the table as each tasted and sampled their delicacies.  You guessed it.  A nibble of this, a taste of that.  Four platters stacked in the middle, still heaping with food.  I noted that John had at least a half dozen chicken wings on his plate.  He took ONE bite of ONE wing. The rest were never touched... and he LOVED them.

The four moved again to the buffet line and once more returned with plates filled with yummy food.

We listened to them rave and moan about how great each thing tasted.  But they only took one, maybe two bites of each item, leaving the rest on the plate.

Then they headed to the dessert tables.  I couldn't believe the number of desserts they brought back to the table.  One of the women had a huge slice of strawberry pie that was fluffed with cream and drizzled with chocolate.  I'm talking decadent.  She took a strawberry from the top, bit off a small segment of the strawberry tip, told everyone how exquisite it tasted, put the strawberry down and ignored the rest of the pie.

The waitress asked us if the party had left when the first round of plates had been pushed together in the middle of the table. We told her we thought they were back in line.  She left the plates, unsure if they were done.  When they arrived, the waitress hovered in quickly and they informed her to please remove "those" plates as they were done with them.  She took off as many as she could and made two trips.

Finally, the three women got up and whisked away to go gambling.  John remained and he gazed at the plates of desserts and patted his tummy.  The waitress asked if they were done and he nodded in agreement.  She cleaned the table and he asked for a glass of water.  She brought him a tall glass of water filled with ice.  He took a sip.  Put it on the table, pushed away and left.

Did I mention, no tip?  Even in a buffet, the waitress does perform a minimum of service and I feel, if he or she does it well, deserves a monetary reward.  This waitress I felt went way beyond the call of duty.  But then, if one is willing to waste food in such a lavish style, I wouldn't expect them to squeeze a tip out.

What really got my goat was the fact these people went to the buffet, filled their plates with heaping servings and then only "tasted" the food.  How insensitive and wasteful.

This condition does not only exhibit in those of the world, but also within the family.  I was at a family get-together and I watched my nephew, age seven, go to the table of food with his mother, take a handful of black olives and bite each one, only to spit it out because he didn't like the taste.  He didn't like the sweet potatoes, potato salad or the ham.  He threw it all in the trash... and yes, proceeded to get another plate of black olives, sweet potatoes, potato salad and ham.  He tasted and threw it in the trash.  When he went back for the third time, his mother told him he shouldn't eat so much.  I made the mistake of informing the mother that he had thrown away the food. She informed me that he didn't like those items.

HUH?

You knew he didn't like them --- yet you gave them to him?  TWICE??

Only in the last few months have I been able to look at my plate and push it away, knowing that I shouldn't eat that much.  For years I was the "garbage disposal" for the family of four boys.  We went to a restaurant, if they didn't like or want to eat a certain item, it went on my plate and I ate it.  Yes, the repercussions became quickly obvious - I gained weight.  But the mindset, I was paying for that food, it must be ate was a difficult one to overcome.  It is still an argument within me when I don't eat everything on my plate.

To watch other blatantly take and throw away food....

Until next I ramble on...