That's right, I'm about to rant.
Do I really need to know all about Brooke Shield's wrinkle erase cream?
Do I really need to discover Megyn Kelley's little off-show OR on-show secrets?
Do I even need to know what pill Mark Cuban is taking? Or why? OMG!
OR why one of the Kardashians is having a rough go of it? I know, life is so mean to millionaires.
Everyone is screaming their Internet is slow, it takes too long to load this video or that video. Really? You're going to watch a video about what pill Mark Cuban is taking so you can order it? If you want the pill, does it really matter if Mark Cuban is taking it? Does his decision decide yours?
If we could get rid of all the stupid SPAM - not the canned meat type - that is cluttering our networks, just think how much faster the Internet would be.
I'm a 70+ married white male with four children, ten grandchildren and currently, five great-grandchildren.
The last thing I need in my inbox is...
- A secret date with some cougar. I'm not looking for a 80 to 90 year old woman.
- A secret date with somebody's wife. I have my wife, why do I want somebody else's?
- A prestigious position within the Business Women's Society or some such crap. I'm a guy!
- Seeing naked photos of supposed "nearby" women who need to be satisfied.
- To save $1500 on a walk-in tub. If I'm saving $1500, the tub is too expensive.
- Be involved with a Zuckerberg venture and/or Facebook.
- Discover ways to enhance my manhood. At this point in my life... does it matter?
- Anything about Gwen Stephani and/or Blake Shelton. What they do is their business.
- Any of the new diet pills and/or weight-loss fads. I'm fat; I'm happy - so leave me alone.
- I don't need medicinal anything - drugs or pills. I'm 70+, I've learned to cope so far without it.
- A total stranger's hoo-ha. Imagine my shock with the email that read "You Want This?" and when the email came up, it was a close-up shot of some woman's vagina. One of my grandchildren could have went to my computer and seen that since I leave me computer on 24/7 and usually have my email up, running during that time.
- An opportunity to send somebody $5k so I can get $150 million to assist in a transaction from Africa (or Europe, South America, Far East) of an extremely wealthy spouse of a slain official.
- And the list goes on and on.
Just think, if just the above type emails didn't clog the Internet, we could all probably run on a 56K modem - no, not really. I'm kidding. BUT, we'd all see things happen a lot faster.
ISP (that's your Internet Service Provider) wouldn't need to attempt to go through all the email coming to your email box and attempt to eliminate as much as possible before sending it on through to you. I know, I have my own domain and establish SPAM rules to eliminate a lot of email for my domain(s) I handle. You won't believe all the stuff that still manages to get through.
Spammers are smart. They use things like "Bootilicious," Booty Licious," "Bootie Licious," Booty-Licious," Bootie.Licious," and the list goes on and on with variations. Oh, and they also attempt this method "BoOtY LiCiOuS." And, yes, variations on it, too.
As it has been stated in the past, it is difficult to make something totally idiot proof because idiots are so ingenious.
I remember the good ol' days (he sighs) when I could be on the phone and send an email to the person on the other end and almost instantly they'd say "Got it!" Now, with all the way-stations and spam filters in place, it can take upwards of twenty minutes to get that same email. The sending ISP will check the mail for viruses and attempt to ascertain that it is not spam, and depending on the route taken, a couple of other places will also test the email for viruses and spam.
The sad part, if you put into your email, say to a client or customer, the following sentence:
Yes, I said it was FREE!
That sentence alone could flag it as spam. You capitalized the word "free" which for some spam filters, is a flag to be counted. If your email letter gets too many flags, it is considered spam and goes into the spam box and the world may never see it.
The truly sad aspect of spam - real mail may get stopped and tossed away while the crappy spam email comes through, totally unscathed.
Some spam filters look at the content size and if the flags count up... but the text size is large, it is allowed through. Hence the emails of spam now filled with useless garbled blurbage at the end. It gets the text count up to offset the flag count. As I said, idiots are so ingenious.
What can be done? Really - nothing. Like my friend who despises the canned meat known as SPAM, even if you ignore it, it still remains on the store shelves, indicating that somebody somewhere is buying it.
I guess the same is true for all the other spam - out there in the great web of cyberspace, somebody is clicking on the link to discover the "truth" about Brooke Shield's wrinkle cream... or wanting to enhance the size of his manhood.
We all have our dreams... I dream of an Internet without spam.
Until next I ramble on...