Monday, January 30, 2017

Age - The Illusive Butterfly

Age.  Exactly what it age?  I mean, for most it is an accumulation of years... or the number of times one has traveled around the sun. For others, it is a mindset.

In reality, it is gravity.

Within my mind, I'm not that old.  I can't be THAT old! It was only yesterday, or was it last week? I was out playing ball with my sons, hitting a few to prepare them for the summer season.  The oldest just took his driver's test - yeah, that was the first of the week, yeah, I"m sure.

No, that can't be. My mind just had a relapse.  Uh, my oldest son is a grandfather. Wait a minute. So is my #2 son.

OMG!  I'm a great-grandfather.  I'm too young for that.  In fact, I was too young to be a grandfather and that was just... OMG!  That was over twenty years ago!

I'd ask where time has gone but we all know - Time marches on.

Today I'm helping my wife. We're shampooing the rug and it is nothing like doing your hair. The machine isn't too heavy. Well, at least, when the young whelp at the store lifted it off the shelf it didn't seem too heavy.  Somewhere between that moment and me actually picking it up to put in the back of the car - it had gained another 200 pounds. With a little effort - okay, a major effort, I was able to lift it into the back of the car.  BTW, without the assistance of my lovely bride, I might add. (Insert your favorite themed music background - Tarzan, Superman, He-Man, etc.)

Sidenote: The only redeeming grace of this incident is it didn't happen at a WalMart parking lot. I rented the machine from a local grocery store.  Otherwise, I probably would have seen my image on Facebook as part of the "WalMart People" slide presentation.

Continuing on.

I shampooed the living room carpet. I've never really thought of my living room as huge. Okay. It is large, about 15x21, but it isn't what I would call an awe-inspiring chamber.  After getting all the furniture out of the room, need I say, there was a rest period?  I started shampooing.

It is time for honesty.  My living room is HUGE!  Going back and forth, back and forth.  I think I walked about 38, maybe 39 miles pulling and pushing that machine.  Remember, it wasn't all that heavy.  After the first 3 trips back and forth - pull trigger for cleaner, pull the machine s-l-o-w-l-y across the room and then push it s-l-o-w-l-y back to the starting point. Release trigger. Repeat the process without holding the trigger so the machine can suck up the moisture.

Do you remember me stating the machine wasn't 'all that heavy' at the start?  Uh, that was without the chambers filled with liquid.  In case you didn't know, water weighs a measly 8 pounds per gallon.  I believe the chamber holds about 3000 gallons... or, at least, that much by the time I was nearing the end of the process.

It seemed the dirt coming up out of the carpet added extra weight... and the two large African elephants riding on the machine didn't lighten the load.  No, wait, I was hallucinating.

Okay, the carpet looks great.  A job well done.

Now, back to age.  As I told my wife, this would have been so much easier back when I was 30. I laughed. Strange to think that.  Actually, it would have been easier when I was 50.

Never once in my life did I ever think I would look back at an age and think how great it would be. Okay, honesty here.  Yes, I did think back, but never ONCE did I ever think I'd be glad to be 50. I guess that is what your mindset is when you're 70 years of age.

Ahh... to be 60 again.  Sure it would be nice to be 30 but I don't think I would want all the turmoil of being 30 in today's society.  The age of 50 wouldn't be too bad, but 60, that seems, at least to me, to be a nice figure.  Not too old.  Not too young.  Call it middle age. Yeah, I like that.

My wife, the realist in the family let me know the truth. "You're 70, honey. Get over it."

And, so I am.  Gravity is taking its toll.  Some days gravity doesn't suck as strongly as other days. I enjoy those days because I feel like I'm 60 and that feels great.

Like a butterfly in the yard - age flits around, letting you run up and down the scale of ages, being whatever your mind thinks and your body willing to accommodate.

On December 31st of 2016, I completed 70 round trips of our sun. I'm proud of that accomplishment. My mind and body haven't totally accepted those facts... and I don't want them to!!

Today I want to live in that illusive butterfly moment and be the age I want to be.

Until next I ramble on...


  1. Should I be happy that I am now the perfect sixty? Yes, I know I should, but since I am a human ape, I am never satisfied with my current condition. Maybe that's why I am writing and reading what the more acomplished than me writers attempt to teach me.Not an easy task but perhaps still possible. Why? Remember, I am a human ape. RR

    1. If you're reading me as the 'more accomplished' ... you've set a very low bar of ... uh, whatever. I may be multi-published, but in no way do I place the title "expert" in front of or behind my name. As to being happy - you can be happy at sixty, seventy, eighty or even forty or fifty. Be happy at the age you want to be happy.