Monday, July 7, 2014

The Speed of Spam...

Okay, today I do a little rant.  Not a big one... well, maybe it will be - depends on what all I find to say.

I hate spam mail.  Really?  Is there anyone who gets really excited when they get spam mail?  I mean, who jumps up and down for joy just because they received some garbage stuff in the mail - either snail or electronic?

Did I ask for that mail?  Do you think that just because you can send out mass mailings that I would leap at the chance for new car insurance or a credit card or... and this one I really like... want a psychic reading?

Now let's think about that.  A psychic sends me an email promising to tell me the future and my business, my love life, or some great monetary opportunity.  First, I'm retired so my business is pretty much defunct.  I'm happily married for more years than I can believe... so my love life is right on course and if you can tell me about a monetary opportunity - why aren't you taking it?

A psychic send me a email.  If she (or he) is truly psychic, I would have thought they'd have known I wasn't interested and not wasted their time or money on me.  So much for their psychic ability.

Credit cards?  I've worked the last ten years to get myself OUT of credit debt.  Why would I want to grab a chance to get a credit card at such a low interest rate that is only good for maybe three months, six months or even twelve months THEN deal with a 29.99% interest rate there after?  Do I look stupid?  Don't answer that!  I am constantly getting offers for a credit card at a "low" offer.  Just think - if credit card companies didn't spend all that money doing mass mailings they could probably reduce the interest rates to something truly respectable.  Plus, who are they fooling?  We'll round-up the charge to the next dollar and put that money in a savings account at 3%.  Hmm?  So, I buy something at $21.36... you ante it up to $22 and I get to earn 3% on $.74 while you charge me 18%-21% on that same $.74.  Yeah, real fair.  Look!  I'm putting money back for little Jimmy's college tuition.

Years ago I had a spam call to my apartment just as I was getting my supper fixed.  She wanted a few minutes of my time.  I tried to explain that I wasn't interested.  Her response?  I haven't even told you what my call is about. How can you not be interested?  I told the person I was in the middle of something and didn't have the time. She only wanted a minute.  I told her I didn't have a minute and was hanging up - and I hung up.  The phone rang within 60 seconds.  It was her again and she informed me that she didn't like me hanging up on her.  I told her I didn't like her calling me when I didn't even ask her to call me.  She was silent for a few seconds - I think she was going over her cheater notes to see what to do next.  I hung up.  She called me back and let me know in uncertain terms that I was being very rude.  I told her she was being rude by calling me back - I didn't want to talk to her.  I hung up.  Yup!  She called back and told me not to hang up on her again until she was finished talking.  I said - "Listen to me. I didn't call you, you called and are bothering me. I don't want to talk to you. Call me back again and I will have you and your company sued for phone harassment.  Am I understood?  I'm hanging up now."  I slammed the phone down... and waited.  She didn't call me back -- until the next day.  The phone rang and she said "I hope you're free to talk today."  I was furious.  I told her "Sure, just wait a second I need to turn off the stove."  I put the phone down and went to watch my TV show she'd interrupted.  I checked the phone every 10 minutes or so (during commercials) to see if she was still there.  She hung on for almost 2 hours before finally hanging up.  Yes, she called the next day.  I told her it was phone harassment and that I had her number and would getting in touch with a lawyer.  She hung up.  I never heard from her again.

I had a psychic call me and offer to do a free reading.  I asked her if she had somehow gotten a message that I wanted a reading.  She said no.  I retaliated with "So you can't really read the future since you didn't know I didn't want a reading.  Right?"  I hung up.  No return call.  I guess she could read the present.

I had a gentleman offer me siding for my house.  I told him I lived in an apartment where I rented.  He continued to sell me on the idea of remodeling, even trying to do the inside.  He told me to talk with my landlord and see if we could work out a deal.  I hung up.  He didn't call back.  Somehow the concept of non-ownership was beyond his scope.

My spam email has offered me many opportunities that I have passed on.  I do not need breast enlargements, no matter how much I like big ones.  Nor do I need to have them reduced.  I'm a guy.  I don't need penile enlargements nor do I want to have the ability to be able to perform all night with no down time.  I've discovered intermission between bouts is sufficient and a necessity.  My financial portfolio is fine.  I got me a small savings and see no reason to deal in stocks and lose it.  I still remember the drop back in 2007 - I'd just got my money out and spent it.  Otherwise I'd lost a very tidy sum.  I was lucky.  A relative of mine lost over $80k and has spent the last few years trying to recoup the losses.  OH, and I don't need to meet a hot "whatever nationality" bride nor blind date a married person to spice up my life.  I do believe that spice would be settling the divorce - not needed.

When you realize all the spam that your ISP eliminates before you get it and then all the spam you delete, step back and think about this:  How much faster would the internet be if spam mail wasn't cluttering the lines?

Until next I ramble on...

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