Monday, July 21, 2014

Battle of the Bulge

Today I'm not going to rant about some political issue.  I'm not going to comment or expound on some writing example.  Instead, I want to talk about something very near to my dear heart - FAT.  Please note I did not say "near and dear to my heart" in that last sentence.

I need to diet.  Four letters and the horrors they explode within the visual brain.  D-I-E-T.

That's right.  The Battle of the Bulge.  I have too much fat. Yes, I'm overweight.  I'm FAT.  That's right -- F... A... T... fat.

It isn't like I haven't tried to diet before.  I've done the water diet many years back.  I lost some weight but the idea of drinking ONE WHOLE GALLON of water in only 8 (EIGHT) hours was mind-boggling.  In truth, I think the only reason I lost weight was a simple one.  The men's room was one flight down the stairs and another 25 steps.  Yes, I counted them.  When you consume a gallon of water, not counting the 3 or 4 cups of coffee - no matter how much you try, the bladder wins and you race to the toilet.  If you don't, the bladder still wins, you lose.  One reason to wear dark (black) clothing.  If it gets "wet" for some reason, it doesn't show, at least not like gray, brown, or God forbid! A light color.  Fortunately, I never lost a battle in the race to the toilet.  Whew!

Again, I did lose weight.  Not a whole lot, but about ten (10) pounds.

I've done the others and I won't mention them all here.  Just say, that I would lose "some" weight and then in a few months, balloon back up and add some extra on - just for good measure. I was a human yo-yo.

My last diet was just a few months ago - well, almost a year ago.  I was having some issues and after several months of tests - starting in June 2013 - it was finally determined to remove my gall bladder.  But first, I had to purge my system.  Now, we all know what that means.  I had to have an UPPER and a LOWER G.I.  Well, whoop-de-doo-dah.  Talk about the veritable poked pig.  I didn't have both done at the exact same time to appear like a skewered pig, although I did have them both the same day and procedure.  He took pictures.  Getting in touch with my "inner" self is not all that much fun.  I stored the pictures away.  Anyway, come November, I get the final decision on gall bladder surgery.

During all this, I lose about 12 pounds.  I very ecstatic.  Weight loss.  Yay!

I backslide a little during the holiday - I mean -- Thanksgiving?  You know you have to gorge--turkey and all.  Christmas?  Can you really give up peanut brittle and candy canes?  And, of course, the Christmas feasts.  Then comes New Years and the resolutions.

Resolutions?  No, I normally don't do those since they are usually broken within the first month, if not the first few days.

But, I did get back on the treadmill and bicycle.  I worked out and kept my weight down.  Oh, and I ate a lot more salads.  Hey, I happen to like salads -- just not every meal.  I can easily put down a BIG bowl of lettuce with all the yummy condiments - tomatoes, celery, green peppers, onions, sunflower seeds, pineapple, mandarin oranges, garbanzo beans and of course, thick, yummy dressing.  Ooooh.  I already see a few no-nos in the crowd.  Call it a luxury and move on.

I don't seem to lose any weight, at least, not a lot and I slack off.  I could tell you it was only January 3rd when I quit but I actually made it into February.  Now it is July and since I live out in the country, I can walk around and flash that pale flesh in the sun.  Nobody is being blinded by the sight of all that flesh.  Yes, I gained all the weight back. My body weight soared upward and it was even higher than when I started - but then again - every time I diet, I always go higher than the current plateau.  Damn!

So, do I maintain the body mass I have or do I lose weight?  I mean, really go for it and try to lose 80 pounds?  All the way down.  A total of 80 pounds?

A friend told me: Be happy with who you are and live your life to the fullest that you can.

I want to do that but I want to live as long as possible, too.  If I live to the ripe age of my parents, that means I have maybe another 12-15 years.  If I diet, could it be a better life?

I've already had a quadruple by-pass on the heart so I figure I'm on borrowed time as it is.  Do I really want to push the edge?

I found those pictures the doctor took.  They still don't look good but I can see the fat he was talking about.  It's not good fat, as if there was such a thing, but I should consider getting rid of it.

If I diet - I need a diet that is heart friendly and doesn't have eggs or pasta in it.  I can't have eggs and almost 90% of diets insist on eggs.  And pasta is a texture thing with me.

Share your ideas - should I diet and continue this Battle of the Bulge?  Why or why not?

Until next I ramble on...


  1. I am not a fan of diets, I believe its best to eat balanced and live an active life. I try to focus on eating fresh foods but I don't deny myself chocolate or other yummies, just keep them to a minimum. Each person has to find what works for them.

  2. @Tara: See? I like that idea and I can eat "healthy" but at times, I find something I "really, REALLY" like and then gorge. Wrong! My problem is portion control, I think. 4oz of Chicken Piccata is a portion, but 8oz of it tastes amazing!

  3. I really want you around for more than another 10-20 years so please take care of yourself. Thanksgiving CAN be awesome, but you don't need to gorge... it's all about eating what you want and making choices - or gorge, but days before eat sparingly and smartly and exercise - you are an amazing person who does EVERYTHING for everyone else - it's time to start taking care of yourself.

  4. @elysesalpeter: LOL. You do realize that in 20 yrs I'd be something like 88 and an old geezer who'd have to start his next blog on Tuesday just to have it ready for the following Monday. Yeah, it would be neat to be an old geezer - and a thin one at that but I want to be happy and content. I'll attempt to rid myself of some poundage, but no promises.

  5. Exercise works better for me than dieting, but it's definitely a long-term fix. A brisk walk also helps me break through jams in plot development.

  6. Weight has never been a problem for me, but I tend to eat small. I think you have hit the nail on the head, cut down on portion sizes. Drink a glass of water before you eat to make you feel full before you start to eat. Self-control is the main thing and that is down to you and you alone.

  7. Just getting outside in the air, if just sitting on a bench, will help me clear my mind of any jams. Exercise is not my forte -- I've spiraled downward and really need to push it.

  8. Good luck, Bob. I know the battle you're fighting. The only solution is to change your lifestyle, but seriously, getting to that idea weight is a never-ending battle. It's so easy to indulge a little with serious consequences.

  9. Everyone says "portion control" and "change of lifestyle" will help you lose the weight. I'm going to give it a try and already know I will backslide BUT better 3 or 4 days of change than none. I didn't gain this weight overnight (altho it seems like it! where did the time go?) so I won't lose it overnight. Maybe in my dreams but not in reality. Thx all.